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Aborto
At 19 years old I had a boyfriend and we had a good relationship. We loved each other. I became pregnant and we decided that we could not have that baby. My mother would “kill’ me; I didn’t know what to do. I was in the third semester in the university. I never got a pregnancy test; I thought that having a delayed period meant that I was pregnant. So, I got an abortion. Time went by and I kept seeing my boyfriend. Some time later the relationship finished because I didn’t love him anymore. I started to date someone else as a pretext to finish the relationship with my first boyfriend.
After a short time of dating this new person I got pregnant again, about the same date that I got pregnant the first time. Because of the same fear of disappointing my mother, I decided again to have an abortion. I dated this person for about three years and had another pregnancy scare.
I have not been a crazy person having relationships around. It happened to me; I never planned birth control methods. I used the natural method, I miscalculated and got pregnant. I never made myself a pregnancy test. My boyfriend didn’t want to have the baby and I didn’t have the courage to face my mother. I didn’t count on others too much when it came to these decisions; I always had the support of a friend. I don’t really know if I was pregnant or if it was only a delayed period. I just went ahead to get an abortion. I have begged forgiveness to God every time that I remember about this; I would not like to know that God has not forgiven me.
My biggest fear was that if one day I wanted to have a child from my husband, it would not be possible because of the wish of the Creator. I am afraid of the karma and I don’t know what consequences may come. After I finished my second relationship I met someone else. Three months later I became pregnant. We thought about it because we had seen each other for a very short period of time and we didn’t know what to do. After taking the test he said he would inject me. I was scared and nervous for the same reasons than before. I accepted his offer.
The injection didn’t make effect. My boyfriend even stepped on in my abdomen one day. We commit this kind of stupidities because of ignorance, because of fear of the family. In that moment fear of God disappears, other things blind you.
Today I have two beautiful girls; one is three years old and the other one year and seven months old. They are precious! Some times I think that maybe God has forgiven me and given me my children back within a home setting. I am now separated, but I live happily with my daughters, they are the most beautiful thing that life and God have given me.
I never would do that if I had the chance to live again. I think I deserve any punishment because the intention of my acts, because of my thoughts. Nothing justifies that, but I give infinite thanks to God for my beautiful girls; sometimes I think they are a gift from God, is like if he had given me another opportunity to make peace with him.
