Hello, 
I'm Ali and as you know I've been taking your classes for almost a year now and I wanna tell you about the strangest dream I have ever had in my entire life, or maybe it was more than just a dream. It happened in fact a few years ago, long before the classes and it had a huge impact on my existence, it changed me completely, made me discover a hidden part of my personality. I have never related this story to anyone, and I can't exactly explain why I didn`t share this experience with you, since you are the only one that can help me. The truth is, sometimes I chose not to think about it anymore, since I couldn't fully explain it and at times it seemed even forgotten. The dream was like that: It was early in the morning, and I was heading to the tram station with my parents. I was going to the university, they were going to work.

Note that I didn't usually go to school accomopanied, and my parents have a car. Surprisingly, that tram was driving us to an opposite direction, and not to the city. After a while, it seemed like we were no longer in a tram but in a funicular cabin and we heard all kinds of noises, like something was crushing, or something was hitting the cabin. That everything became extremely dark and we were going down with speed, like if we were in an elevator who was taking us to the center of the earth, and we continued to hear the noises. I stood in the dark for awhile , horrified, since I am so scared of the dark and after some time I saw a little light at a distance.

The light became bigger and bigger and as the funicular was approaching, I realized we were to land on a beautiful sunny meadow, with green grass and flowers , just like in a fairy tale. I could see this landscape from above and it was very impressing. A white chapel was rising in the middle of this maddow and there were children singing gospels. Me and my parents stepped out of the funicular and I rushed to the chapel with a strange feeling. The chapel looked more like a stage, were those children performed. And on the spot I felt my heart filled with the music and I remembered it was me, one of those boys (I am in fact a girl) who used to sing religious songs every Sunday. I told that to my parents and they mocked me. They also said we should hurry, that we were just passing by.

Then I heard a voice telling me that everybody loved me and respected me because my mother was the owner of the castle and she owned the whole place. I also told that to my parents and they had the same attitude .Then I realized they were like strangers to me. They were just some people who had nothing to do with this, and prohibited me to find out more about the boy I rememberd I used to be once. My father told me he was going to leave the place without me, but my mother convinced him to give me a few more minutes. I thought I should go to see my grave first -with the hope of finding out my name and then I wanted to visit my house.

My mother went with me, but she said she was not supposed to enter to the cemetery and that form now on I was on my own, that it was my personal deal. So I went, I looked for my grave, found it ,cleaned the dust from the picture and suddenly saw my face, the face of a beautiful young fair-haired boy , named Neil .(I can't remember my other name, it was a german one with a title and too long for me). Then, I remembered the clothes I wore when I took the picture (they were maybe from the napoleonic period), the colour of my eyes, and I thought it was aproximately 1800, even before.

On the stone, it was graved- he died young, in a battle for a right cause. A voice told me that my mother had been waiting me for 99 years or that she waited for me until she was 99 ,I don't quite remember. But immediately after that, I felt like I had been driven out of my body and I knew I was dead and barried, crying out for my life, my youth and my house. Seems like I was no longer Ali but Neil. And it was not only a dream, it seemed I was out of the body, beside the grave, and remembering that dreadfull experience of a big loss. Unfortunately, my father woke me up, interrupting this unique experience.

All I can say is that from that day I changed, I developed some talents (like art and others),I became interested in some religion aspects. The problem is since I couldn't see my house ,I look for it every night. Sometimes I walk on the corridors of a big house, there are objects of art I can identify there, but I never see the house from outside because I don't have the courrage. I just know, it will trouble me tremendously. I know that if I see it in the real world I can recognize it although I never had the chance of actually seeing it. It still hunts me, and sometimes, just before I fall asleep, strange images like italian gardens, statues or objects from the house come in front of my eyes. One thing I can say for sure..The day after I had this dream, I felt completely happy and free, without even knowing why. I still have small dreams about the house but not so significant, but there are images that hunt me in the real life. I apologise this letter is so long, but I really need you to interpret the dream if you can in details. Save me from all these years of torment. Thanks.